Upon reflection of my depression

When I look back to those Times,
perhaps months fade years to lives:
(It all congealed together to a thick bile
Formed in the image of someone else)

To see those that they call “me”,
stare back at you with hollow eyes

I become a vacuum
a sinking man’o’war-
that with its weight-
with its fury
pulls down with to the abyss.

(All my lovéd ones I miss)

I do not recognise myself from Then.
I am not me, I am “them”,
i am a pit, i am shit,
i have nothing in my hollow bones

My chest opens and it is a void,
I am alone in a sea of others,
I do not have blood or skin,
I have no heart, no soul

just sin.

Only tones-
vibrations, pulsating, static, strobe.

Lord knows how I reformed,
pressed ash to solid mass.
But I breathe again now,
and forget the Those days

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